2 Questions for you and please read to the end:
- How honest are you with yourselves during your holiday period?
- How truthful are you with honouring YOUR wants, YOUR needs, YOUR wishes, during your big Pause space?
I ask this because I often hear people, especially women, say: ‘we didn’t really rest because we were doing things for other people, we are looking after grandchildren, entertaining friends, trying to please everyone else in our group of friends, or even our partners, dragging ourselves to places we didn’t really feel like going to, when we really wanted to do nothing’..and so on & so forth..
As we now near the end of August, our main holiday period here in Cyprus, this is a topic that’s been on my mind for a while and I wanted to share my thoughts and my observations around it.
And so I ask you: How are you being during your vacation time ?? Particularly if you are spending it with other people..friends or family.
- Do you honour yourself by having some “time for you” space?
- Do you give permission to yourself to do things YOU want or go to places your soul desires??
- Do you declare that you don’t want to do anything, you simply want to rest!!
- Do you feel guilty if you do ask or even think that?
- Do you always suppress your own deep wishes, to succumb to other people’s wants or even whims? (These people, can be our loved ones too!)
What I often hear from people or clients on this – especially when they come complaining that they are constantly tired, or that they don’t have time for themselves or that they returned from their holidays and they feel exhausted is, ‘Yes but we all compromise!! Don’t we have to compromise? We can’t be selfish’.
OK, I invite you to reflect on this. There are 2 kinds of Compromising:
- a) compromising in general &
- b) compromising YOURSELF
This is an important distinction! Because check what happens:
When we enter (b) and ie. compromise ourselves, we unconsciously dishonour us. We overstep our values, we bypass or push down what feels important to us, we carry ourselves to places or people that do not serve our inner Being. In other words, do not fill us up. Do not make us feel joyous and happy. When I say this, I refer to authentic joy. To authentic happiness. No pretence.
Our holiday period is sacred for us too. We are not meant to be spending it only serving others, pleasing others because we may feel that this way, ‘we keep the equilibrium going’ or we ‘retain a certain peace’!!
The repercussions of taking this stance, can be grave and longterm. When we deny ourselves our right to express our truth, it will want to find a way to release itself!! And if it’s not coming out of our mouth in the form of words, of voice, it will look for other ways out. When we follow this pattern, we are in fact creating for ourselves the possibility for various psychosomatic symptoms to arise. Headaches, migraines, stomach pains, coughs, neck pains etc, etc. How often do we hear about these? Please be aware of this. Keep it in mind.
Holiday times, are very important to everyone and you can test yourself during such periods. Let’s remember that as the Greek word for Holidays denotes, ‘Διακοπές’ from the verb ‘Διακόπτω’, which means I pause and interrupt the habitual way of my everyday living. We pause for a reason. These Pauses, are essential for our wellbeing. These Pauses are meant to recharge our batteries, rejuvenate and refresh us!!
How are you experiencing your Pauses??
What happens during them?
And how do you return from them?
Do you make your holiday time count?